Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize