Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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