Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
