Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
