At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize