We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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