this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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