Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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