Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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