your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My dick has a subreddit
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
