were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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