we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
