I wanna bring you to show and tell
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
