i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
