i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
