craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I didn't notice because vodka
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
