And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I have post one night stand depression
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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