You really coming over, don't trick.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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