I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
