Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
