nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Sponge bath it is.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The adults are the big ones right?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
