I think I am morally bankrupt
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
