Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
