Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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