Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
