I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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