My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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