Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I can't put those talents on a resume
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
