I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
