He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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