There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
