Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
