Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
