Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
