i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize