Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
