dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
