Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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