i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
