i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I pour the whiskey from now on
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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