I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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