Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize