im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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