She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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