its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's shark week go big or go home
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
