Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
