i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize