? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
