OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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