dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
