Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
