Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
