what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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