talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
