it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
