Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
