The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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