also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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