Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
