I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
