its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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