I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
