This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
