Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
