I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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