We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
