So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
