So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Im just a social blackout drinker.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
