this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
